If we’re all playing the same game, then why do I feel like I’m not playing the same particular sport as men. I know that the basics are the same. There’s two players (or two teams) and the outcome will show a winner and a loser. And I do not want to be the loser in these games, so I just never jump straight into bed with anyone. Now I’m not expecting to get in a relationship with the two men I have been talking to either, nor do I want to! I’m just finding it frustrating. I know what they want (sex), I know what I want (to get to know them first, then sex), and all I can tell so far from all of our conversations is that I’m obviously a bit harder to get into bed with and they would jump if I said (excuse the bluntness) “Want to fuck?”
Let me just start with last night; “Romeo” asked me a personal question. Now I’m not going to tell you what the question was, just that I cringe at the thought of divulging too much personal information or anything about my past. I like living in the moment, thinking about today, not tomorrow. But because I’m adopting the “first thing that pops into my head” method with this guy, I answered. And it sounded lame and awkward, because I tried to make it sound a little lighter than it was. He replied equally awkwardly, then I wrote something funny and no reply. I’m doubting he will still want me to squeeze him in my schedule at the end of the week after that. I’m tempted to just delete his texts as well. Except that didn’t work last time; Exhibit A; “Max” who I deleted because it didn’t seem to be going anywhere after I told him to let me know when he’s free. He texted me Saturday night “Maybe Tuesday or Thursday night. Let’s chat on Monday?” Well since that’s a question obviously he wants a reply, unfortunately I was on my way out and (sorry Max) my reply was curt; “I’m busy tues, but I’ll talk to you mon” Now at the time I was busy so I didn’t care (not even about the bad grammar). Monday comes along and fair enough he writes “So pretty busy this week but can do late tonight after basketball… Like 9pm or possibly Thursday night?” and even though I like sweaty, athletic men, I was tired and his texts are sounding like I’m just a booty call. So I send him a slight “out” text as I like to call it; “Hey if you’re busy no pressure haha, I have plans tonight but I can do Thurs if you like” I kept it light, but no reply back. Basketball I guess. Oh well. Nice “chat” Max. So I’m going to leave it, see if he texts again. I’m not even sure I can be bothered anymore.
I’m starting to feel exhausted texting these guys. Why couldn’t they just keep it simple, nice and flirty. I was having fun in the beginning now it’s just like a chore. Like I have to do it even if I don’t want to. I’m going to stop texting, see how I feel in a couple of days, then maybe we can resume FUN texting guys (hint, hint). Maybe I’m just not in the best mood today and it’s affecting my brain. To the point where I actually feel like I don’t want to sleep with either of these men anymore. Maybe I’m just hungry. Or maybe I just need a drink. Yes that’s it, I need a big, juicy burger and a bourbon! Ah now there’s love!