The need for speed

high-speed-photography-4What did I do today you ask? Well ok, you didn’t, but I’m going to tell you anyway. I finally got some time to myself, time to relax, pick up my guitar and learn a couple more chords. But I didn’t. I didn’t relax, I mean it was only for a couple of hours, but instead of just flopping onto my bed laying comatose for those sweet, sweet 2 hours of peace, I chucked on some loud, ear blasting music, sat at my computer and applied for at least 30 jobs. And wrote this. Which I’ll have to post later because I’m cutting it close to a doctors appointment that I don’t want to miss, for tinnitus. I finally have a reason why my brain is running at full speed, going crazy while I’m desperately trying to feel tired so I can get some shut eye. Sure I’m always thinking, observing, analysing everything constantly, but my brain can handle that. What it can’t handle is my thoughts AND tinnitus! If you haven’t had tinnitus before; it’s the most irritating, quiet, high pitch, random noise you will ever hear! It was originally just a constant little squeal that I took no notice of until it started shooting on and off in my head driving me insane last night. At least I slept for 5 hours this time so I’m catching up. Also I know extremely loud music and noise can bring it on so don’t start, I usually don’t listen to loud music but to focus today I felt it was necessary.

Back to jobs! I was looking at share houses last night, closer to the city and I decided what areas I like, budget, etc. And all of a sudden I received a message from a guy that has a spare room and thinks I’d fit in perfectly to the house! That’s gotta be a sign right!? I arranged to meet him later this afternoon to check the place out and see if he’s nice. So while applying for jobs I started thinking about money. Sure, like I’ve said before, I have money, hard earned, work your butt off money! But I’m also not an idiot, I don’t want to keep dipping into it because it’s meant for my future house. Now I’m not sure if agreeing to meet this guy and most likely agreeing on the spot to move in (which I probably would if I didn’t start thinking rationally) is rushing in too quick? Or am I just going with the flow? At this point I don’t know the difference! Right now I feel like I’m in a high speed car chase, leaving everyone behind, shooting past everything in my life! I need to take a step back and look at everything with a different perspective. I need to decide if thinking about moving into this house (which is not as close to the city as I would like) makes me feel excited or happy in any way. I’m not sure if I will even meet this guy anymore, I like being spontaneous usually, but I don’t know if this is spontaneity or stupidity. I’ll let you know what I decide.

Sometimes in life it’s necessary to take a step back don’t you think? To really dig deep inside and decide how you feel about the path your life is on. Just don’t over-think it, in the end, you’ve still got to have some fun. I like the path I’m on, I feel it’s where I want to be, I’m extremely happy. I’ve just got to decide whether I want this opportunity, or am I willing to wait until I secure a job first. Ah sweet life decisions!

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2 thoughts on “The need for speed

  1. The two options of ‘going with the flow’ and being careful and smart are not mutually exclusive, hun! Of course take every opportunity that you come by, but make sure you carefully consider the pros and cons of all your options too!

    Miss M. Xx
    Missmessex.wordpress.com

    Liked by 1 person

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