Fight or flight

Run%20CinderellaI made plans to meet a guy (we’re going to call him “Dan” ok) from RSVP and I don’t even know why! Well obviously for a date, but we started texting yesterday after chatting online for 2-3 days at most, then all of a sudden last night; “Do you want to meet for coffee Thursday arvo?”

I was going to say I’m busy because well I’ve only seen one picture of Dan and it’s only been a couple of days, then he sends “Was gonna suggest tomorrow night but wasn’t sure if I’d sound a bit desperate or weird lol” I figured at least he was honest haha so I agreed to Thursday, I suggest 5pm, he can do 5pm but doesn’t want to show up in his dorky work clothes so how about 6pm? I agree even though I’m thinking who the fuck drinks coffee at 6pm and I’m going to be starving! Then he tells me he’s so excited, numerous times, that I make him smile and it’s so easy to talk to me. Ok sure I’m relatively excited so I say “Yeah it should be good :)” This morning I get a good morning text, even though I told him last night that I would text him, and a “hope you slept well”, he tells me he hurt his back so I was expecting him to cancel tomorrow, instead he tells me it’s felt better but knowing he gets to meet me tomorrow makes it ok. Sure I wrote “haha cute!” But right now I’m sitting here getting way too many texts from this guy thinking I’ve made a date with a needy woman.

What the fuck. This is DEFCON 1 guys! He just texted me now saying good luck with your interviews and my smile will be a huge selling point for sure. What the fuck am I doing!? Sure I like attention but I’m not sure if Dan is just full of shit, this can’t be how guys talk normally right? I wrote back “haha thanks for the confidence boost!” His reply? “I am really looking forward to tomorrow :)” I haven’t written back yet, it’s actually scaring the shit out of me. I’m trying to work out if it’s because he’s actually nice or because I feel like running far, far away already! Why the fuck did I go on RSVP!? That’s right, my sister made it for me, thinks I need to start dating again, but I should’ve just kept deleting the emails, or at least deleted my account! I feel like an asshole because I’m not ready and don’t want a relationship and a lot of people on dating sites want a relationship. I don’t want to string this guy along, at most I thought it would be a bit of a fling, plenty of people on dating sites just want sex let’s be honest. Why did I have to find a guy that is already texting me like he’s my boyfriend? I’m going to cry, he even has a kid, I’m a fucking terrible person. I can’t cancel the date because that’s going to make me feel worse, so maybe I should go to it and if he starts getting personal I’ll have to say I’m sorry but I’m taking things really slow. Then after the date I’m deleting my account because I feel like I’m cheating people out of finding love.

What do you guys think? Any stalker vibes? Does he sound too keen for someone I’ve never met? Am I going to be abducted and forced to marry him!? I think I’m freaking myself out, maybe he is just a guy that writes cute shit to girls, maybe he just wants to “bang”, maybe this is my emotional barriers from my failed relationship bringing out the fight or flight response. I know I’m stressing myself out too much, most likely for no reason, I mean the date hasn’t happened yet, it’s only texts. This is obviously a problem in my head that needs some looking into. I’ll try not to run away. Just relax. Too bad it’s too early for a drink!


24 thoughts on “Fight or flight

  1. I’ve been there before. I’ve had guys talk to me like that as well. At first it’s flattering, but then it becomes too much too soon and in my experience, it feels like the relationship is forced to go at a faster pace than it should be. I think you should at least meet him and be upfront and honest with where you are at. Meeting someone in person is really the only way to tell if they have been bullshitting you, are genuine, or are needy. It sounds like you aren’t ready to date seriously, though. You’ve been broken up for 3 months, is that right? How long were you two together. It seems like you might need more time to heal. Hope that helps. I’m currently in the trenches of online dating too, so I know how it is.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks! Well our coffee date has turned into a dinner date and he suggested a movie as well which I politely declined. I’m almost 4 months single now, I’ve healed quite well to be honest I’m in a good place mentally but I know I don’t want a relationship this year at least, trust issues would definitely surface so I know I’m not ready. I will tell him all of this, he has a kid so I would feel bad for leading him on.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. I did feel like running away because he was texting too much! Too much is; from 10am until 6pm constantly with a 2 hour break in the middle because he had a meeting. But I already agreed to the date so I kinda feel obligated to go now lol

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Prepare yourself for “thinking of you” type-texts after only one date and other uber neediness/approval seeking and cling-bomb behaviour. The guy has been watching too many movies. I can’t wait to read about the horror…lol

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Sounds like a clingy creeper to be honest. Probably a nice guy, but just too intense. If he’s doing too much now, imagine if you actually dated or hooked up with him. Plus, eff going to the movies on a first date. Not only is that outdated, but who wants to sit silent in a darkened room on a first date?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. He is pretty intense! Thanks for your opinion I wasn’t sure to be honest lol Movies for a first date is very un-original, but he managed to convince me to go to dinner instead of coffee so wish me luck! haha!


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