Let’s be friends?

sad-deflated-balloon-obama-supporters-383x260So that didn’t go down to well. I am never going on a date with a nice guy again. You may notice I start with I don’t know, but I had a feeling “Dan” was going to be hurt, he sounds even more emotional than me, but I still honestly just want to be his friend. Here’s how our conversation went…

Dan: Hey look I know you said you had to really think about whether or not your ready for something at the moment so just wondering what you think the chances are of a second date?

Dan: Not trying to make you be too forward but I wanna know just if I should stick around

Me: I’m not sure but if you need an answer now I understand, I don’t want to hold you back so I’ll have to say no to a second date. In saying that though I would like to be your friend, as lame as that sounds, coz you really are a great guy! But in the end I’m not really emotionally available and you’re ready for a relationship

Dan: Yeah I figured you would say that. I’m always that’s guy nowadays.

Me: Oh you’re not “that” guy, you’re actually only the second guy I’ve had a date with since my breakup, and the other guy was a douche lol to be completely honest I wish I was ready! But I’m not gonna be “that” girl that leads you on you know what I mean?

Dan: Yeah fair enough. No problem

Me: I’m sorry! I hate that I’m saying “lets be friends” I feel like an asshole!

Dan: Yeah it’s not nice on the receiving end

Dan: Has happened 10+ times easily

Dan: Anyway not to worry, all the best for the future for you

Me: I really am sorry “Dan”, I’m sorry that it’s happened that much to you, I would hate it to if I was looking. But like you said, you took a couple years after your breakup and in between you dated a girl and brought baggage with you. I don’t want to do that, I’m just trying to be honest with you, I really like you as a person and I don’t want to be a dick and lead you on more dates for nothing

Dan: It’s completely fine, I just hate dating and the shit part that comes of it like this

Me: I feel like a massive bitch if that’s any consolation, I’ve only been on dates 5 times in my life not including dating the ex so this is new to me and I really do feel like a horrible person saying no to a second date. I would like to catch up with you again just not in a date setting if you would like that? I totally understand if you don’t want to, but don’t let this or the 10+ times get you down, you really are great I can’t stress it enough!

Dan: I did feel like after the date last night that as much as I want to see you again, I felt like this was probably going to be the case. I’m not sitting here trying to barrage you and make you feel like a bitch as well by the way, I’m just speaking my mind and being honest with you. And I appreciate you saying that I’m great, but it still feels a bit like a kick in the guts to hear that.

Me: You’re not making me feel like a bitch I just feel like one. I like that you’re speaking your mind and being honest with me, I’m always honest so as much as I hate saying things that will hurt you, I feel like it will hurt you more if I don’t say it. I am sorry if I’ve hurt your feelings, I still want to know you more and I hate that I can’t give you more than that.

Dan: But that’s the thing that confuses me though. You say you want to know me more but for what benefit? Im just curious more than anything

Me: Because you are a genuine and honest person and that’s pretty rare these days!

Dan: I’m just sounding rather whingey more than anything right now. I dunno though, I think I would find it hard to just go out with you as just a friend after knowing that I wanted to see you originally for a date and got into that mindset of it. I guess I can try

Me: You’re not whingey, just confused and want to know why, I get it. If it’s too much to ask I understand, I just find it hard to find nice honest people that are so easy to talk to.

Dan: Yeah fair enough. I’m willing to try but can’t guarantee that if I have feelings there I won’t not tell you

Me: As long as you’re willing to try I’d like that, you can tell me if that happens and we can talk about it then, but in the meantime I wouldn’t mind getting a good friendship out of this

Dan: Okay then. We will just see how it goes

Me: I’d like that πŸ™‚ again I’m really sorry

Dan: It’s okay. Feel a bit sad by it though still

Me: Oh please don’t feel sad

Dan: Sorry

Me: Don’t be sorry either!

Dan: I don’t know what to say?

Me: You can say whatever you like just don’t be sorry, that’s for me to feel

Dan: You shouldn’t need to feel sorry. You can only have feelings for people and if you don’t feel like anything more than friends is what will happen, I have to deal with that

Me: I can feel sorry for hurting your feelings, and I do feel sorry. I guess at this time in my life I can only really accommodate feelings for friends, anything else is just too much

No more fucking dates! I’m not going to do it to myself or them! I just feel like a complete asshole! Of course I didn’t tell him the first ever date I had after my break up I ended up having sex with the guy, but that was a rebound! From now on that’s it! I’m just going to say no. No, no and more no! And now I’m thinking of texting “Max” for another “catch up” because fuck it, I have never slept around, I know the guy at least a bit, I know he just wants sex, plain and simple and well, I just want to. I just want to have unattached sex with a hot guy and not fuck with nice guys feelings. Sure I’m drinking wine right now (yes, again, don’t judge me) so I’m going to sleep on it but honestly, I think I’m just gonna go for it. Fuck it. Fuck me.

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32 thoughts on “Let’s be friends?

  1. I am truly not trying to write a novel in your blog comments…but this guy is not emotionally healthy. He may have been in the past, he may be in the future, but he’s not there right now. This is not on you in any way.

    Like

  2. Hate to say I told you so lol, but… I have to say it’s really awesome that you were so honest and up front. So many people would just bail and leave the person wondering what happened. Oh, and what does “Whingey” mean? Sounds like a Brittish term.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Lol you did, damn. I try my best to be honest and explain things to people, especially if I’m making them feel shit. Whingey= complaining, whining, acting like a little kid at a supermarket that isn’t allowed a lolly, etc lol

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  3. I can honestly say almost every time you’re honest with someone and reject them (whether it be because you’re not interested or not ready or whatever) this is how they react. It is not at all your fault, and I’ve also been in this position and felt like a bitch, but honesty is the best thing you can do in the long run even if this conversation was uncomfortable and sucky! You did the right thing πŸ™‚

    -Rosie
    http://www.hookupcultures.com

    Liked by 1 person

      1. “Dan” seems unhappy and his emotional-ness is an attempt at manipulation. I’ve had the same reaction two times when I was…….crap I’m old. Anyway, Danny Dan needs to get himself squared away before he goes dating.

        Like

      2. Back in my day… Haha!
        I feel like I’m more emotionally stable than he is, at least I know I’m not ready for a relationship, seems like he wants a relationship so he can be happy, you need to be happy first. Look at me being all mature and shit lol

        Liked by 1 person

  4. As I read your post here scrolling down, I just thought to myself, ‘there he goes again. Really? Still?!’ That conversation should’ve been over with after you replied, “But in the end I’m not really emotionally available and you’re ready for a relationship.” The rest was pure immaturity and ridiculousness on his behalf.
    You could’ve easily Ghosted this guy (and I use that term loosely considering the teenage replies I just read.) Kudos! I applaud you for being so upfront and completely honest with him. Not every match is going to be a match made in heaven, especially when someone has the issues going on like “Dan”. You uncovered many true colors in a short period of time!

    Like

    1. There plenty of times that I thought no reply was needed but he just kept going! Obviously he’s not happy with me right now, no good morning text thank god! I seriously hope he doesn’t text me again to be completely honest lol

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Be his “friend” and tell him that his needy and feminine behavior is why he’s been rejected 10 times in a row, and is going to happen 10 more times in a row unless he gets it under control. You guys met ONCE and look at the drama from him….shm….

    Judging by some of his replies I bet you he won’t even listen to any advice..

    Liked by 1 person

      1. They are idiots, I tried to help a guy in his 40’s last week and he looked at me like I had 3 heads after I told him what he was doing (perpetually, over and over again) wrong. You can’t fix stupid!

        Like

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