Where do I start? My date with “Dan” was surprisingly nice! From what I could tell he is actually a really nice guy, yes a little needy and intense, but really he’s just looking for love and he’s quite open and honest about what he wants. I caught him perving on a girls ass once, but he is a guy and he only moved his eyes so I let it slide. But after the date while I was lying on my bed, alone, I received a text from him saying that he had a great time and would I like to do it again, I came to the conclusion that I’m an idiot.
During the easy, laid-back conversation we were having after dinner, he told me his last relationship lasted 5 years, ended 2 years ago and he took that time to really focus on himself and his daughter (not son, see I’m a dick) and build his life up to a point where he was happy with everything before he put himself out there for love, for fear of bringing unresolved issues into a new relationship because he had tried dating a year ago and that’s exactly what happened. Now as for me, I told him my relationship ended a few months ago, that I am focusing on myself, I am at a great place mentally and that there are plenty of things that I want to accomplish this year, I’m relaxing, taking my time with everything and just seeing what happens as it comes. I also said that I don’t think I’m on the same page as him in the relationship sense of things and that I don’t want to rush myself into anything at this point in my life. He said he understands completely, there’s no pressure, it’s a shame that we’re not potentially (we aren’t) on the same page, but he’s enjoying himself and you never know. Cue goodbye hug involving him holding on for a long time, long enough to cite the alphabet and me leaving feeling like a total jerk for wasting his time.
So back to my homecoming text from him, I said I wouldn’t mind seeing him again maybe but again I can’t stress enough that we’re on different pages. He replied saying that’s fair enough, again there’s no pressure but he would like to see me, he was nervous tonight because I shocked him with how pretty I am (bloody hell), but like he said no stress. I told him he was sweet and I’ll have a good think about it. No problem!
I feel like I was honest enough to not lead him on, but I’m curious to what you guys think? Because he’s still texting me today and I’m starting to think I should’ve never agreed to the first date because that’s already lead him to think there could possibly be something in the future! If anything it confirmed my “not ready” feelings to the point where I’m back to thinking I’m not going to give my number to anyone unless it’s clear that they just want sex. Dan is a nice guy and I know he’ll find a girl soon that will appreciate him, I’m just not that girl.
Would it be too harsh to say I can’t do it, I just want to be friends? Do guys really hate being put in the friend-zone? What if it’s by someone who’s obviously not emotionally available! And where the hell are the men that I am only sexually attracted to! Fuck dating seriously, I just can’t do it. I’m looking forward to dinner and drinks in the city tomorrow night so guys stay away from me I’m not interested! Unless of course you’re good looking and just want sex.