Future ex wife

e6648912321da50b37e0adb9558033e6After a great day yesterday killing it in my job trial (haha), waxing and pampering myself because of possible rendezvous Friday đŸ˜‰ and watching the most hilariously ridiculous movie (“Piranha”, seriously terrible), I climbed into my comfy bed and checked my phone, as you do, and found a text from “Dan”!

Remember Dan? The guy that I friend-zoned and his depressing, emotional responses.. Yep, that Dan. The text read; “Thought you wanted to stay friends yet I haven’t heard a thing from you..” What. Is. This. Guy!? I say “what” and not “who” because what the fuck. Is this normal? Seriously is it? Because I’m starting to feel like he’s taking it like a break-up. I don’t understand this guy at all. But I replied. All of my family and friends would say I’m “too nice”, like it’s a bad thing, well maybe it is sometimes, but I felt like replying because I kind of feel sorry for the guy thinking nobody wants him. So I wrote; “Oh sorry! I thought I’d leave it a bit since our last messages weren’t too nice. How have you been?” Right, so I have a tendency to always apologise, even to clothes racks at the shops if I bump them, but I figure it sounded simple enough and (thankfully) he hasn’t replied. Yet. Or maybe he’s making a counselling session as I’m writing this because honestly he needs it. It will help you Dan don’t knock it!

Now I want to talk about my “Sam” situation. Yes, again. I decided to talk to my older sister “Anna” last night because she was telling me that I should go on dates or at least A date and I wanted her to shut up (she talks a lot. Seriously, a lot) so I blabbed! I showed her the texts we’ve sent each other, she thought they were quite funny and witty, said I’m a “pro” at texts (idiot lol) and we came up with a simple text that I was going to send today at some point; “How’s Friday looking for you Sam?” Or something similar anyway. I don’t ever “plan” texts like this but Anna wanted to help, she would plan the entire evening if I let her!

But I woke up this morning to “How’s my future ex wife this morning?” Which made me do a little happy dance, I’ve got a huge, stupid smile on my face and for the life of me I can’t think of anything smart-arsey to say back! Sam’s turned me into a giddy, excited, teenager damnit! I need to think of something before I beg him to take the “ex” out of that haha! Get your big girl knickers on Lucy, it’s time to plan a divorce party!

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16 thoughts on “Future ex wife

  1. Uh, oh! That’s how I was with the guy who I tried doing the friends with benefits thing with. I ended up liking him too much to keep it up. But you’re different so hopefully it’ll be simple for you.

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  2. Someone who was friendzoned actually thinks he’s a friend. Ugh, I assume he (and you) are young because his being over 22 and behaving like that would be bad. “Let’s just be friends” usually just means “be friendly if we ever see each other, but we don’t have to go out of our way to see each other”

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      1. So saying, let’s be friends is actually a lie. Just saying “not interested in dating you” is more accurate, no? One can only be friendzoned if he actually attempts to be friends, as he is. I know from experience. If he makes no attempts to be friends and just moves in pursuing other ladies, then he’s just been broken up with.

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      2. Yes but if his attempt to stay in contact was a “Hey how are you?” Instead of “I thought you wanted to be friends” that would’ve been a nicer approach. I did ask how he’s been and he still hasn’t replied so it seems like he doesn’t actually want to be friends.

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      3. Yeah well it’s awkward for him. Not going to get it right. Ultimately, probably, he won’t really be a friend because he still wants to date you. If you ever have him the go ahead sign he’d go full speed ahead. He’ll just be waiting out his time.

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      4. I understand it would be awkward for him that’s why I’m not being rude when I text him. I did tell him we could try be friends, he is a nice guy, a little emotional but still genuinely nice. I think since I only met him once he would get over thinking of me as a date

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