I made a mean meatloaf for dinner tonight and ate half of it! I swear I’m in a meat coma no joke! I don’t even know why, I wasn’t even that hungry I just kept eating it. It was soo good though! Yeah that was completely irrelevant to this post, get over it.
So today I played “mediator” between my sister and her husband. Turns out she wants him back now that he finally wants a divorce. I don’t understand relationships like theirs. As soon as one of them back’s off, the other one wants them more. This is how they’ve been since they met. It’s frustrating. I’ve told them they need to see phycologists separately, they need to work on themselves first and foremost. No relationship can survive if you have your own personal issues that you aren’t dealing with. Relationships take a fair bit of work and if you both have your own problems within yourself, how can you focus on the relationship? You can’t expect a relationship to work without some effort. So work on your own mind, your own soul, and see where you’re both at in 6 months, even a year’s time.
I know I didn’t realise how much you need to be completely 100% happy within yourself before you start a relationship. I didn’t realise any of the stuff I know now until I had a relationship end. To be fair I did start dating my ex just before I was 19 years old so we grew up together. We had 10 years of growing up, of growing into ourselves and the people that we are today. And honestly, we grew apart. I grew slightly more mature than he did. Sure I’m still an idiot a lot of the time, and a bit crazy and immature, but I’m mature where it counts, when it comes to family and loved ones. He grew up wanting more, feeling like he didn’t have as many party days as he wanted, feeling like he had only slept with 2 girls his whole life when all of his work mates or even guys he met on work sites were still out there “getting some”. And he always tried to get out of any family gatherings or if anyone needed a helping hand. He really only did anything for anyone if it benefited him. I actually understand him, it’s strange. Sure he didn’t break up with me in a great way, but there’s no good way to do something like that anyway. We had some good times as well as bad, I feel like I can finally look at our holiday pictures and not be bothered by it at all. It’s my past, we grew up together, of course he’s going to be in photos and I’m finally fine with that. I almost forgot about all of the usb’s of photographs I have stored in a draw until my nephew told me he missed my ex today and do I remember when we went to the farm for his birthday and saw all of those massive pigs and little ponies. Yes I remember, yes I will show you the photos. It was actually lovely looking through all of the photos, all of the captured moments of fun times, happy times. I can’t wait to go through all of my Thailand pictures and see me hugging a tiger again!
On a side note, I’m seeing Sam tomorrow. I don’t really know why I asked him if he was free, but he said yes, and I want to see him so why not. I feel like the last few days and my last few posts on here have been all over the place, I kind of went off the rails a bit. I’m going to go back to being me, to no expectations, just being carefree and doing things because I want to. Staying on track with my goals, but no pressure, things will happen in good time. I mean come on, I hugged a tiger when I was 21, I can do anything I want!