I’m just a little weirdo

im-with-stupid-arrow-up-t-shirtSo tonight I’ve actually arranged to check out a share house closer to the city! And I have a job interview tomorrow, so things are looking up again now that I’m just relaxing with everything. Carefree Lucy’s got it goin on!

Except, Sam hasn’t replied to a text I sent him 2 hours ago. We were meant to catch up tonight, but I’m going to just assume it’s not happening anymore. Too bad. It’s probably for the best though since I need to focus on my interview tomorrow.

Oh for fuck sake! I was just about to start writing about “text etiquette” because that has to be a real thing right? I’m not the best at replying to texts right away anyway but I think I’m just talking myself out of seeing Sam just because he doesn’t reply soonish to my texts. I’m stupid I know. I think I’m trying to find any excuse not to like this guy. I’m starting to piss myself off to be honest.

So he just texted me, that’s what the “oh for fucks sake” was for earlier;

2 hours ago Me: Having a better day?

Sam: Yeah, much better, busy though

Sam: How was yours?

I’m just an idiot. There’s no point to this post now honestly.. Text etiquette blah blah. I kinda want to cancel tonight because I shouldn’t see him, especially since I’m already complaining about nothing. Just his dragged out replies. Even though he always asks how I am. This is just meant to be fun Lucy stop being a dick. Someone slap me please!? Tell me I’m an idiot. Tell me I need to eat something because I’m being a cranky bitch. I should probably get away from my sister who dumped her son on me when I had shit to do just so she could go home (& to the chemist) and she keeps telling me to ask her husband if he loves her. I said no obviously, that’s not going to help anything. Damn she’s a mood drainer. I shouldn’t let her affect me that much. Breathe Lucy! I’m a free spirit right!?

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15 thoughts on “I’m just a little weirdo

  1. Breathe. It’s going to be okay. I so relate to this because when I start to have feelings for someone, I look for any sign that they are going to disappoint or disappear on me. Overthinking is my gift. I’m currently learning how to let go and just be in the anxiety. It doesn’t always go so well, but hey, I’m trying. I hope you do what’s best for you, whether it be going out with Sam and distracting yourself or taking a break to regroup. Either way, it’s okay to have anxiety about this development with Sam, just don’t let it take away from enjoying the experience.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I overthink way too much lol I’ve decided to distract myself with Sam and NOT get so freaked out. I think I’m doing great until my sister brings her dramas into my life so I may have to back off from her shit but still be here for her sometimes

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  2. When your fun is causing you undue stress, I think it’s time to re-evaluate. This seems to be happening to you a lot lately with him. You’re not an idiot! You just seem confused on what you want out of this.
    Just my shitty opinion. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m definitely confused with what I want out of this, it’s just meant to be fun so I’m going to relax. Everything seems to feel more stressed to me when I’m helping my sis. That’s the one thing that I feel like I can’t handle right now.
      And your opinion isn’t shitty!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Lots to take on all at once – back in 2012 I think I went on 20-25 job interviews, there was no way I could also juggle dating and moving along with all the job hunting BS. Prioritize. All will be fine.

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  4. I am 50-fucking-2 years old. Yet when it comes to relationships I am still 15. I think we all are when we’re dating.

    Waco was tough because she doesn’t respond immediately. To anyone. Sometimes she reads a text, thinks “I’ll respond to this once I…” and then forgets about it. Since we’re exclusive now for several months she is trying to be better about it. During the first year we dated it was often maddening.

    No matter what else is going on in my life, having a solid relationship is something I’ve accepted as necessary for me. Everything else seems to go better when I do, nothing goes well when I don’t. Maybe you’re like that too.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. One can’t control “finding” the right partner, only the “looking.” I am much more at peace, much more focused on other, healthy pursuits now that I have Waco in my life and things are constantly good with her. I wish I could compartmentalize and do fine without a significant other, but somehow it’s not in my makeup. If that’s you, I hope Sam or someone fills that need for you soon.

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      2. I think I do well without a partner, my problem lately seems to be my family, I know I would do anything for them and they know it so sometimes they take advantage of me. I talked to them all tonight saying I need to be a bit selfish for a little while. And I think if I get to relax more in my home life I won’t be so hung up on Sam so to speak, he seems to be my escape from home so I want to work out my feelings in a relaxed frame of mind

        Liked by 1 person

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