I’m only human

411a6fa1e6cc2458e1f82f4f0f275228I’m thinking of texting Sam tomorrow to see how his day’s going, if it’s going well and he’s not tired I think it might be a good idea to ask if he wants to catch up. It’s Thursday tomorrow though so fair enough if he doesn’t want to, but on the weekend I actually had tonsillitis so even though we got physical, we didn’t kiss. At all. I definitely wanted to. He wanted to as well! But I really didn’t want to make him sick. So, right now I feel 100% better, I feel like I missed out on the weekend and he’s one of the best kissers that I’ve met in my life. So come on Sam let’s have a good old make out session at yours! Plus more.. I’m up for it if you are!

The share houses that I’m looking at tomorrow afternoon at 6pm and 8pm are in suburbs near him so I may as well make the most of it don’t you think? Obviously I would prefer if he called or texted me tomorrow asking what I’m up to, but because I know that I’ve been giving little “back off” vibes unintentionally, I’m fine with asking him first. I’ve got to make more of an effort to show him that I’m interested because I keep doing stupid shit that he might take the wrong way. I know I do it because I would not like to be hurt again and because I absolutely hate saying goodbye to anyone. I hate even leaving a friends house, when they try to walk me out I’m already running to the car waving goodbye. I sort of feel like I owe Sam an explanation for my quick exits, but I probably won’t say anything unless it somehow comes up in conversation. Which is very unlikely!

So I want to see Sam, I hope he wants to see me too. I mean more than see me if you get my drift. I don’t even want to go on a date! I just want to bloody see you. Fucking hell Sam let’s just do it!

EDIT!: I just read my last two posts and I’ve realised that the last two times I’ve seen Sam was because I asked him if he wanted to catch up. Is it wrong to ask a third time!? Is that a thing? New to dating remember, help a girl out and let me know if I’m being too needy or something ugh!


7 thoughts on “I’m only human

  1. Ask yourself, does it feel wrong to ask a third time? Ask yourself, ‘why am I asking myself?’ 🙂 Why do you think you’re questioning everything with him? Do you think the two of you are on the same page or do you need to have the talk? Have you had the talk yet? Is this more than the FWB that you originally wanted?
    I’m just asking because I’m sensing from your words that you’re developing feelings for him. That’s natural! But that takes it to a new level, and you better be sure that you’re communicating or you might get hurt.
    That’s my crappy opinion.

    Liked by 3 people

      1. Well, it certainly seems like things are progressing to a point where that talk needs to happen sooner than later. Here’s a test: does the idea of him dating other women make you feel upset (like icky, insecure, sad, etc)? If so, it’s probably a good time to start introducing the idea of dating exclusively. Not necessarily boyfriend and girlfriend but just sort of: “you know I’m not dating anyone else and I don’t really want to. What about you? How do you feel about just casually dating each other only and seeing how it goes?” Or something like that. If you are okay with the idea of him going out and meeting other girls, then that talk isn’t needed yet unless he brings it up first. I hope that helps. 💙

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Ok I don’t know how I feel about him seeing other girls, I’ve already thought that he could be sleeping with other women and I guess it does make me feel a bit put out by it because I’m not seeing anyone else, but thanks that does help, I think I mite leave it a couple more weeks to talk about it and see how I feel then since I don’t even know what I want anyway lol

        Liked by 1 person

    1. It doesn’t feel wrong, I always ask myself stupid questions lol but I’ve just woken up and I’ve decided I’ll just say hey to him and not invite myself over.
      I’ve only known him maybe a month I can’t have a talk that soon! I use this blog to write my crazy thoughts down because it helps me not think so much. Yes I have feelings for him, I’m just a little weirded out because I haven’t had feelings for anyone in a long time and I don’t know what I want

      Liked by 1 person

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